Tea for the Soul, Coffee for… Well, Let’s See.
I have nothing against coffee or coffee lovers. I drink coffee too, occasionally.
But after learning about Luwak coffee, I’ve stopped being adventurous in my explorations.
I am a devout tea enthusiast, and my love for tea runs so shamelessly deep that I might just ink your name in my will if you agree to be my tea-serving adopted child!
And by tea, I certainly do not mean your fancy green tea or any other weak, pale brownish concoction pretending to be tea.
I am talking about “desi chai”—the holy mix of water, sugar, milk, and leaves.
If you are sipping some other beverage, you might want to reconsider your life choices—because you won’t find a place in heaven with that kind of blasphemy!
That’s how I feel about tea. But apparently, coffee lovers are just as devout. They’ll go to great lengths to have their brew just the way they want. And I learned this after meeting a Luwak coffee “machine” in Bali.
A Trusting Tea Lover Walks into a Coffee Trap
Dear coffee lovers, Imagine my surprise when I found myself living your dream for a few hours during a trip to Bali.
My friends and I decided to visit Bali Pulina.
It is a picturesque agro-tourism spot where you can see the entire process of coffee-making, and taste the brews while soaking in stunning views—all things green, natural, and absolutely beautiful!
Sounds like a dream, right? But hang on, because I’m about to tell you how the Indonesians take “natural” to a whole new level.
It was a foolproof plan—me, the devout tea lover;
Priyanka, the die-hard coffee addict;
and Sapna, our fearless adventure seeker—all set to dive into this coffee paradise.
Little did I know, I was about to step into a coffee experience that would shake my very soul.See, I knew about coffee all my life, but I learned about Luwak during that trip. The combination ‘Luwak coffee’ didn’t bother me at first because I had no clue what ‘Luwak’ meant until then.
Horror, Horror, When I Discovered the Truth
Though, the place was nothing short of divine.
A gorgeous Balinese guide led us through the lush plantation.
We were about to find the secrets behind the most exotic coffee on earth—Luwak Coffee, or Kopi Luwak, as it’s locally known.
This coffee, as they claimed was a perfect blend of flavour and aroma, a true gift from nature.
With my adventure-seeking spirit fully engaged, I was hyped to try whatever they had in store.
But then… I discovered how this Luwak coffee is made.
That’s the moment I felt the adventurous part of me choke, gasp for air, and finally drop dead, buried somewhere in the serene landscape that I once admired.
My excitement turned to horror as I learned the unthinkable truth about these precious beans.
I warn you – from this point on, you’ll need a strong stomach and a mind of steel to continue.
For I am a faint-hearted, cannot digest such concepts.
We went further down the plantations into rustic kitchens with mud stoves.
A a rich, burnt-nutty aroma filled the air.
Baskets filled with what looked like coffee beans of all sizes, shapes, and shades of brown and beige were neatly arranged.
But here’s where the story takes a wild turn.
What I thought were innocent coffee beans were actually Kopi Luwak
—the most expensive coffee beans in the world, fetching up to $1,200 per kilogram!
I was looking at Luwak coffee.
Why so pricey, you ask? Well, brace yourself as I unravel the mystery behind these beans…
These beans travel through places so unthinkable.
Not through the rich volcanic soil of Bali, but through the digestive system of a small, cat-like creature called a civet.
After that natural trip through the civet’s belly, the beans come out the other end… quite literally.
So , these pricey coffee beans are collected from civet poop! Read that again.
The Luwak coffee lovers swear by this bizarre process that enhances the bean’s flavor.
However, I was trying to calm my rather disturbed stomach.
From the Coffee Grinder to the Therapist’s Couch
My faith in coffee was irrevocably shaken that day.
I stood there, staring at those beans with a mix of shock and disgust wondering who came up with the idea.
The idea of sipping on something that had passed through someone’s intestines, was more than I could handle.
When I finally returned home to India, I rushed to my kitchen and kissed my humble jar of desi coffee.
Nescafe, you beautiful, unadventurous, poop-free creation—I will never take you for granted again!
A Happy Ending for My Tea Cup
In the end, this unexpected journey into the world of Luwak coffee only served to strengthen my devotion to tea.
While others may delight in the exotic and the extreme, I find solace in the simple, reliable comfort of my desi chai.
No wild animal digestive systems required—just pure, unadulterated tea, brewed with love and tradition.
So, One civet’s trash is one human’s treasure. To each their own.
I’ll happily sip my tea and leave the adventurous brews for the stronger ones.
And I learnt that all adventures are not meant to be engaged with.
Would love to hear what bizarre adventure you didn’t take.