Yesterday was my birthday. Boy oh boy!
The digital love and wishes poured in like pre-monsoon showers—the kind that promises relief but leaves you wondering—should you cancel everything, fling your legs up on the couch, and binge Netflix!
I am talking about that kind of dilemma.
But then it was my birthday!
Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, LinkedIn—
Pretty much every app on my phone was buzzing with birthday love.
Even retail companies snuck into my DMs with ‘special’ offers, trying to awaken the dormant consumerism serpent in me.
A massive 20% discount in exchange for spending my hard-earned money?
Looks like they think I have ‘take my dinero’ written all over my face!
What a generous birthday gift! Smells like extortion wrapped in mesmerising glitter wrapping paper with a cute bow on top!
Fuck you too!
Now back to my birthday yesterday.
So I did tell ya, I was practically drowning in a sea of digital confetti, bombarded by pixelated cakes and virtual cards.
Guess how much it costs to send one of those?
Exactly zero!
And that is why I guess people are so generous sending them.
Tons of people want to greet me, throw some fuzzy feelings my way, or just tease me about being a penny-pincher who doesn’t indulge in lavish birthday treats.
Yes,
I missed their calls.
I let them stay unattended.
I saw the phone vibrate, light up, name flashing.
I stayed unwavered.
Missed it.
Some relentless ones called again.
I put the phone face down and walked away.
There’s no way, in this crazily attention-distracted world where people hardly remember their own kids’ birthdays, that anyone would actually remember the birthday of someone as snooty as me.
I will tell you how.
Those freaking ‘know-it-all’ CEOs of social media giants remind everyone that it is Suman’s birthday!
Now you get wishes from EVERYONE in your list and their dogs!
Don’t get me wrong, the love is appreciated. But here comes the big ‘but’…
Amidst all the virtual balloons and emoji cakes,
I found myself wondering. The dilemma!
Am I really expected to drop everything and craft personalised thank-you notes for all these “gestures of heartfelt excited avatar wishes?
The one that pops up on my screen and shoves a cake on my face?
I am truly grateful for the love, really.
But where’s my ‘me time’ on my birthday if I am glued to my phone, stressing over thanking everyone or answering endless calls,
sending emojis for emojis?
Blowing virtual kisses for virtual kisses?
Don’t answer that.
P.S. I might lose a few friends after this post.