Four decades flew by, not bad, huh? A few of us are probably experiencing empty nests – full or semi.
It’s that time of life when you wonder—hmm, what’s next?
-How do I design my life or, rather, midlife?
I’m asking myself the same question.
Why?
Because I’m a half-empty nester.
The lunch-packing days are mostly behind me, and the house doesn’t require as much organizing as it did a few years ago.
The ones who used to drag in the cyclone have flown off and are busy practicing adulting.
And the one still here communicates in monosyllables but is far more eloquent when sending reels to roast me.
Between the chaos and the calm, something new has opened up—a big, wide space—to rethink and design my life.
And I can’t hide how excited I am!
At this stage of life, I get to revive all the desires that were simmering on the back burner for so long.
No parents nagging, no kids demanding constant attention (well, almost).
Now, I can focus a little less on the semi-old man in my life.
I can put on my devil wings, midlife queen crown, and comfy sneakers—not to rule or trouble the world, but to experience it how I want.
Here’s why I’m so madly in love with my midlife.
Midlife crisis? Or Midlife Calling!
I know this urge for something more at this stage is what people often call a midlife crisis.
But here’s the truth: it’s not a crisis—it’s a “MIDLIFE CALLING”
It’s liberating and so exciting.
This isn’t the kind of excitement that pushes you to rush forward.
It’s an invitation to slow down, enrich your experience, and seek fulfilment at a deeper level.
Life isn’t a tag game—no touch and go.
It’s meant to be savoured, like sipping a hot cup of tea on a chill winter morning-
Nice and slow, mindful, and relaxed.
To design my life from hereon, I knew I had to evaluate where I stood. Where did I want to go from here?
I firmly believe in the saying:
What got you here won’t get you there.
So it’s time to take stock and ask myself: Where do I stand? And what do I need to get to the next chapter?
Step 1: The Midlife Assessment
Let’s start with an honest look in the mirror—no, not for checking wrinkles or stray grey hairs!
We don’t even have to make a decision today about changing our anti-wrinkle cream.
Today, we are gonna look deeper and ask ourselves some really powerful questions with all honesty.
Where are we today?
Are we living our dreams, or is that girl who dreamt of a different life left behind somewhere?
Deep down in her mind isn’t she thinking how do I design my life today?
Take a stock where we stand as far as the fundamental pillars of life are concerned- : health, wealth, relationships, and career.
Health: The Foundation of Midlife Fulfilment
The truth is, those big midlife plans—whether it’s travelling the world, learning salsa, or simply walking up a flight of stairs without panting like a dog—aren’t going to happen if we don’t take care of our health.
I know I’m repeating what you’re probably sick of hearing by now.
I’m still going to say it again, even if it hurts to hear.
You can’t build a fulfilled life when your bedside alarm is blaring, reminding you to catch the flight to Ibiza, and you can’t feel your legs!
So, yeah, fulfilment starts with good health, which means exercising and moving your body to stay fit!
Go ahead, apply some ointment to your ears because I’m not done repeating myself.
It’s tough to stay motivated, but you’ve got to exercise.
It takes a ton of motivation, willpower, and consistency to do all those things we know we should be doing—like eating our greens, moving our limbs, lifting weights, drinking more clear fluids( that don’t contain alcohol or caffeine.)
I am gonna take Robert Frost’s help a bit to explain my situation – (or may be your too)
The gym is bustling with energy & motivation in heaps,
But I’ve made promises to Netflix that I have to keep,
And my bed is inviting me to sleep,
(Poor Robert Frost must be cringing in his grave. “I’m sorry, Sir.”)
That’s me being honest, okay?
I’m not exactly brimming with motivation.
Some days, I’m just proud of myself for not scrolling through my entire phone before noon.
Exercise? Errr, someone needs to drag that out of me.
And that’s where I brought in some external help—my trainer.
My personal trainer makes sure I do wrist curls with dumbbells rather than my phone or the remote control.
He keeps me accountable, drags me through my workouts, and somehow makes sure all my muscles get moved and stretched, despite my resistance to resistance bands.
So, if you’re like me—someone who finds the whole ‘let’s get fit’ thing a bit of a struggle—do this!
Get someone to give you a kick in the behind. Whether it’s a friend who loves burpees (yeah, I know we feel like killing them).
Enrol in a class that makes you laugh while you sweat, or even a trainer who somehow convinces you that lunges are fun—it’s okay to get some backup.
Love it or hate it, you gotta do what you got to do when you are redesigning your midlife.
Wealth: Retail Therapy Vs Retirement Plan
Ok! I need not iterate the importance of this. There is no ‘design my life’ happening without this!
Financial crunch and the constant worry about it can be a major energy drain, especially when you know retirement is closer now.
But the truth is, even five years are good to build a corpus if one starts taking action today rather than wondering and regretting.
I’ll admit, I started taking care of my finances quite late in life. But when I finally did, it felt like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. Not because I won the lottery or suddenly found the guts to rob a bank.
It is because I took charge.
—started investing, managing my inflow and outflow, and actually keeping track of where I swiped my card. Turns out, knowing where your money goes helps a lot!
Here are my 7 golden rules for managing finances – (No expert but much better than what I am in my 30s.)
- Start from wherever you are – tomorrow is not going to get any better with regrets.
- Have accounts independent from family members! A Special word about spouses. Share the closet space, bed, bathroom, house, his t-shirts, but have few or at least one account independent.
- One bank account for inflow and other for forced emergency savings. – out of sight out of mind. And have one more just expenses. Money tracking simplified.
- Save an amount for emergencies only. Rest invest. Investing makes your money grow. (please keep the ointment for the ears handy)
- Never, ever go into credit card debt—trust me, that swipe should match the funds you have, not the ones you think you’ll have.
- Invest in stocks and mutual funds. If you’re just getting started, one word: SIP.
- Systematic Investment Plans are your friend—small steps today for a more secure tomorrow.
- And if you’re running low on cash, start a side hustle! Find a job, acquire a skill, and begin. Six years ago, I started side-hustling as a copywriter, and that kept me sharp while working on building my brand. Who knew a little hustle could go such a long way?
- Protect what you have. Do not fall in the raps of Instagram money billionaire guru who are teaching you to make a billion selling their 10 dollar courses. No one. Absolutely no one can make you rich promising bigger returns-everyone out there is looking out for themselves.
Remember the monk did not “donate” his Ferrari, he SOLD it.
If you cannot figure out where to start, it is okay to ask for help—whether it’s a financial planner or that one friend who’s really good at talking you out of impulse buys.
Once you get a handle on your money, you’re not just stacking up cash—you’re setting yourself up to design and live the life you want.
Relationships and family- are they in on your game of designing your life?
If you’re expecting a typical Bollywood story about a loving, devoted family, you can stop reading right here.
I’m a family woman. But that doesn’t mean I’m a family-foolish woman.
Let’s poke the hornet’s nest a bit—what do you say?
People often say, “You are a reflection of the five people around you.” Keep your inner circle uplifting, they advise.
But let’s be real—especially in India, where we place such lofty values on family and relationships, this is easier said than done.
We often endure major boundary and space violations in the name of care and love.
Forget about the circle uplifting you —half the time, women find themselves battling self-doubts planted by their own people.
Because, of course, women are expected to keep everyone, including their dogs, happy!
Most of the time it’s the result of collective conditioning.
We are raised to believe that family comes first, no matter what – which is true,
But the way society wants us to interpret it is family comes first, society comes first, all the religious festivities, celebrations, relatives’ hospitalities, dog’s poop time, everything comes first. And then if you please -go find your dreams.
In a patriarchal society like ours, women have endured dream-crushing and “family-name-protection” scenarios more than they care to admit.
Getting married and having kids are seen as the first goal for women.
If you get time from rearing a family, go chase your dream.
So, if you’re someone still walking the path your family laid out for you,
but it doesn’t lead to your dreams, it’s time to change course. (Don’t worry, I’m not saying you should change the family—just the path. Trust me, they’ll understand.)
And if you find that your family isn’t equipped to support your endeavours, don’t wait around. Do the inner work and become your own champion.
It’s not going to get any better magically.
Maybe they want to support you but don’t know how.
or maybe they don’t have the time.
Either way, you should be your own cheerleader.
Don’t place the weight of your dreams on your family’s shoulders.
Be the one who believes in yourself the most.
Work-Dream balance: Chasing Paychecks and Passions Without Losing Your Mind
Work-Dream Balance: Chasing Paychecks and Passions Without Losing Your Mind
Notice I didn’t say “work-life balance.” That’s because women in midlife, who’ve raised families, are pros at life balance!
Now, it’s about work-dream balance—the balance between your regular work and the work that fulfils your deeper passions.
Whether you’re already in a job, running a business, or just starting to think about your next step, ask yourself: What would you love to do for the next five, ten, or more years?
Honestly, I’m not sure how you might feel. Many women I’ve spoken to, who have been working for a long time, just want to call it quits and take a break.
As for me, I felt unfulfilled. Living four decades on this planet, surrounded by endless choices, I’ve become what you’d call a jack of all trades.
I have held jobs in my life, each catering to my lifestyle at a particular stage or interest.
The good part about being a jack of all trades?
You’re never bored.
The downside?
You’re constantly undecided about which passion to pursue.
Thankfully, one thing that has remained a constant in my life is my love for reading and writing. Sure, these passions have shifted with lifestyle changes, but they’ve only gripped me tighter over the past eight years working as a copywriter for major part of it.
Each job, interest, and detour has not only equipped me with new skills but also satisfied my craving for new experiences.
Now, I’m excited to delve deeper into my passion for writing—exploring new domains, telling stories filled with fun, humour, and healing, and seeing where this journey of designing my life takes me.
Happily achieving my work-dream balance.
Conclusion
If you’ve read this far, it means you’re not just pondering “how to design my life”—you’re serious about it.
Being open to change- you tackled the hardest part.
Midlife isn’t the end of the road—it’s the crossroads where you get to decide which path you’ll take next.
You’ve lived, you’ve learned, and now it’s time to lean into the wisdom and experiences that got you here.
But remember: what got you here won’t get you there.
You don’t have to wait for anyone’s permission to redesign your life.
Whether it’s tackling that passion project you’ve shelved for years, taking charge of your health, getting your finances in shape, or simply learning to say ‘no’ to what drains you—this stage is your chance to take the reins.
Grab a cup of tea, sit down, and reflect on where you are today and where you want to go next.
Life is short, but midlife? That’s long enough to do things your way.
The best part is you are not starting from scratch—you’re starting from experience.
Happy designing your life, your way!