Forty years in, we’ve earned this right: to live a life by design, not by default.
For many of us, the nest has started to quiet down—kids grown or growing up, the hustle of everyday demands easing off just a bit.
And with this shift, one big question looms- What’s next?
I’m right there with you, asking myself the same thing.
It’s as if a door has swung open and we get to redesign this next chapter. It’s liberating and exciting.
Now, at this stage, I get to revive all the desires that once simmered on the back burner. No parents nagging, no kids demanding constant attention (well, almost)—and I can focus a little less on the semi-old man in my life.
So much can happen now!
I can put on my devil wings, midlife queen crown, and comfy sneakers—not to rule or trouble the world, but to experience it how I want.
Midlife Crisis? Or Midlife Calling!
What some call a midlife crisis, I see as a midlife calling. It’s about clarity—a fresh life plan. This stage is our chance to pause, enrich our life journey, and shape our future with intention.
Midlife only feels like a crisis when we’re weighed down by past regrets. But regrets don’t have to define us—they can become stepping stones for growth.
If you’re ready to release those ‘could-have-beens’ and make peace with your past, check out my thoughts on letting go of regrets and moving forward.
It’s time to realize dreams, accomplish big things, and live deeply by design.
This isn’t the kind of excitement that pushes you to rush forward. It’s an invitation to slow down, enrich your experience, and seek fulfillment at a deeper level.
I firmly believe in this famous quote
What got you here won’t get you there.
So it’s time to take stock and ask: Where do I stand? And what do I need to get to the next chapter?
The Midlife Assessment: Crafting Your Life Ahead
Where are we today? Are we living our dreams, or is that girl who dreamt of a different life left behind somewhere?
To live by design, the first step is to assess your current position and identify the values that will guide your next chapter.
Creating a meaningful life plan begins with clarity on where we are and where we want to go. Take stock of where you stand in the fundamental pillars of life—health, wealth, relationships, career, and more. Most people who do not plan, plan to fail.
Health: The Foundation of Midlife Fulfilment
The goals that matter to us require a strong body and steady energy. Our future health is foundational to the life we’re crafting—whether it’s traveling, dancing, or just feeling alive. This midlife journey starts with a renewed commitment to feeling our best and living our best.
You can’t build a fulfilled life when your bedside alarm is blaring, reminding you to catch the flight to Ibiza, and you can’t feel your legs!
Fulfilment starts with good health, which means exercising and moving your body to stay fit. Reclaiming free time by automating tasks can also help you focus on your health.
Exercise? Errr, someone needs to drag that out of me. And that’s where I brought in some external help—my trainer. He keeps me accountable, drags me through my workouts, and somehow makes sure all my muscles get moved and stretched, despite my resistance to resistance bands.
If you’re like me—someone who finds the whole ‘let’s get fit’ thing a bit of a struggle—do this!
Get someone to give you a kick in the behind, whether it’s a friend who loves burpees (yeah, I know, we all feel like strangling them) or maybe even a fitness app that won’t let you off the hook. Sometimes, a little outside push is all we need to get started!
Love it or hate it, you have to do what you have to do when you’re giving life a new meaning.
Wealth: Retail Therapy Vs. Retirement Plan
Honestly, there’s no life by design without financial stability. Worrying about money drains energy, especially as retirement nears.
Even a few intentional years can build a solid foundation if we start today rather than waiting. Trust me, I started growing wealth way after 40, and it is doing much better than the 0 I was at four years ago.
Taking charge of my finances felt like lifting a weight off my shoulders. Not because I won the lottery, but because I started managing inflows and outflows, tracking my spending, and setting up a plan. Having a financial path aligned with my values made all the difference.
Here are my go-to rules for creating financial stability after 40:
- Start from where you are, with one idea —no room for regrets.
- Have at least two bank accounts. It helps keep track.
- Separate emergency savings from daily expenses—out of sight, out of mind.
- Avoid credit card debt. Spend only what you have, not what you think will come later.
- Invest in growth. SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) build wealth steadily.
- Consider a side hustle to explore interests and boost income. I found that a side hustle can support my bigger dreams while building financial resilience.
Remember, the monk didn’t ‘donate’ his Ferrari—he SOLD it! Even the monk needed money!
If you can’t figure out where to start, it’s okay to ask for help—whether it’s a financial planner or that one friend who’s really good at talking you out of impulse buys.If you can’t spark an idea seek one.
Once you get a handle on your finances, you’re not just stacking up cash—you’re transitioning from a traditional money-making career to one focused on meaning-making, setting yourself up to design and live the life you want.
Relationships: Are They In on Your Game of Living Life by Design?
People often say, ‘You’re a reflection of the five people around you.’
And while it’s true, especially in midlife, we sometimes find ourselves stuck in default roles in relationships. It’s time to examine who we keep close, asking—Are these relationships helping me grow and design meaningful lives?
We’re raised to put family first, but sometimes that loyalty means our dreams get sidelined.
Forget about the circle uplifting you—half the time, women find themselves battling self-doubts planted by their own people.
So, if you’re someone still walking the path your folks laid out for you, but it doesn’t lead to your dreams, it’s time to change course.
(Don’t worry, I’m not saying you should change the family—the idea is to change your mindset and enforce boundaries. Trust me, they’ll understand.)
If you find you are not supported in your endeavours, don’t wait around. Do the inner work and become your own champion.
It’s not going to get any better magically.
Maybe they want to support you but don’t know how. Or maybe they don’t have the time.
Either way, you should be your own cheerleader. Don’t place the weight of your dreams on other’s shoulders. Be the one who believes in yourself the most.
Work-Dream Balance: Chasing Paycheques and Passions Without Losing Your Mind
Notice I didn’t say work-life balance.
Midlife is about balancing our paychecks and our passions. Whether you’re already in a job, running a business, or just starting to think about your next step, ask yourself: What would you love to do for the next five, ten, or more years?
I found my love for reading and writing has remained a constant in my life. Sure, these passions have shifted with lifestyle changes, but they’ve only gripped me tighter over the past eight years, working as a copywriter for a major part of it.
Each job, interest, and detour equips us with new skills and experiences.
Find what tickles your fancy now at this stage that you want to continue forever…
Happily achieving your work-dream balance.
Your time to create life by design not by default
If you’ve read this far, it means you’re ready to live intentionally—to craft a life by design, not by default.
Midlife is a crossroads, a chance to lean into the experiences that shaped us and decide where to go next.
Write your goals,
Write you ideas,
Create the plan to bring it to reality,
Take the actions.
Stay true to your values and beliefs.
Grab a cup of tea, reflect, and make this next chapter truly your own.
And start doing that one thing that will change your destiny.